90% of divorced women are bitter. They may not admit this. “There is no pain or failure like going through a divorce” according to Jennifer Lopez. As a matter of fact some divorced women tend to live above their means in a bid to spite their former husbands. Some live the rest of their lives trying to revenge or get back at their husbands. It is difficult to receive healings and solutions to their heartbreak. They may even end up committing suicide or murder. Their bitterness can lead them into competing or fighting with their ex husband’s girlfriends or new wife thereby wasting the time they ought to invest in meaningful activities.
Divorced women face the challenges of loneliness, financial obligations, bitterness by raising their children alone or allowing their children to be raised by other women. Some of them trade sex for money, steal and engage in unreasonable businesses just to meet up. Desperados amongst them trample on their dignities by accepting humiliations from young men. Counselors and pastors are better positioned to tell us about divorced women’s misery and frustrations. For some women divorce can even be more stressful and grievous than the death of a friend or family member. It is uneasy to lose a person who has become a major part of your life.
Most divorced women speak ill about men and marriage. Their sons may develop low self esteem and their daughters may become men haters because of the blame and stigma they have put on men. Divorced bitter women raise children who have wrong perspectives about life. The children grow to despise marriage and family. Some don’t believe there could be a harmonious and stable marriage. With this bastardized view of marriage the society is unsafe. It is the family that constitutes the society. Some children from broken homes pollute and corrupt the society. Two good heads are better than one. Children raised in a stable home with the presence and contributions of both parents must be different from children raised by a parent. Children with lovely and acceptable childhood experiences think decently and of course differently from children with battered childhood experiences as a result of separation of divorce by parents.
Divorce has become a norm in developed countries. It is rare to see a married couple that has lived together all their lives without separation in developed countries. Even some Bible preachers are divorcees despite their deep knowledge of God. God hates divorce. He established the family to be together. Divorce started and was gradually accepted by some people, that is why it has become fashionable now.
Some cultures abhor divorce. Divorced women receive insults, neglects, rejections and are denied certain positions in different places. This makes them bitter and crossed with the society. Some become desperate and anxious to marry again forgetting that they have every tendency of divorcing again, if they hold strongly to those causative views.
When a woman is under a man, she is controlled, cultured, respected and responsible. A single mother can dress, laugh and talk anyhow but a woman that is under a man exercises some level of discipline and restraints. This does not mean that marriage is a cage. It simply means that a woman must consider her husband feelings or preferences before taking decisions.
Divorce affects both the man and the woman. Men become richer after divorce. They as well grief and gnash their teeths over divorce. According to a new research, when a father separates from the mother of his children, his available income increases by around one third. Women in contrast, suffer severe financial penalties. When a couple legally divorce, the court will generally divide the marital property in half, and each spouse will get one half of the total property. The court can give one spouse more property than the other spouse if the court has a good reason to do so.
No matter what you are planning to gain from divorce, weigh your options. It could be freedom, time, wealth, job, career, money or even health. What you may gain cannot equate what you will lose. It does not make sense, as Joyce James once said, “to live, to err, to triumph, to re-create life out of life” is what life is all about.
I am not ignorant of the fact that some women have lost their health and lives while trying to save their marriages.
Ultimately marriage requires patience, wisdom, understanding, love, tolerance and fear of God to enjoy.
This is why God should be the center of our lives and marriages. It is the fear of God that keeps a couple faithful to each other, not beauty or money. Those who have been taking God for granted should repent this time. The world is shaking. Christ is our only solid Rock. He alone can revive and save our marriages.